It does sound like you're a good candidate for nostr:nprofile1qqsf07zg4hxyccnkdp07fppxmetpfzru3fg6mgzx3nk8r7af8qnjjygpp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqpr3mhxue69uhkummnw3ezucnfw33k76twv4ezuum0vd5kzmqpzpmhxue69uhkummnw3ezumrpdejq52q4x7

its custodial (they hold the keys!)

but you can create, destroy and manage your own node in a nice UI for not a lot of sats.

you pay for uptime.

i started using and keep shilling it to people like me who are principled and WANT to like LN

but aren't unwilling to compromise a little 😅