i don't think so.

i can store privileged messages on my relay already right now and nobody authed to a pubkey that doesn't appear in my privileged message p tags can read it.

i also have automatically configured relay whitelists that grant write access to anyone i might want to have an ongoing DM with.

the only thing holding this up from working is a client that lets you configure it correctly to push events there correctly according to what i have configured. the rules for defining that, are not complex, and currently, almost no nostr clients implement this part of the protocol correctly. everyone loves their chosen single kind 1 client, with half arsed DM support, or irritating high friction like coracle, which works, but nags you without option to disable the nag that you are using nip-04, which btw, is not actually in practical terms any less secure, but is also a lot faster because everyone has AES acceleration even mobile users, a cipher stream algorithm that is standing up perfectly well to attacks everywhere on the internet over TLS.

because of this downer negative pessimistic attitude, promoting the ignoring of this critical feature of a social network is the norm, and nobody has actually spent enough time to fix it. that is all.

so it's a self fulfilling prophecy when you parrot these dictums about nostr "not being made" for something.

perhaps we should talk about the fact that humans are "not made" for any specific thing either, yet can do many many more things than your little short circuit evaluation gives you.