Healing...
One lives in the very own time…
Today was a hard day. We buried our loved ones today. We are tired, sad and exhausted.
Still, I want to take this moment to reach out.
This past week has been unimaginable horrible.
But also unimaginable impressive is what I have experienced from you, dear Nostriches. I would like to publicly thank you for the incredible sympathy, support and help. I've done this personally to most of you (I really hope I haven't forgotten anyone), but I think the whole Nostr community should know how incredible Nostr is. I have received an incredible number of personal messages, mostly via telegram (I didn't have a telegram account at all before nostr and now telegram has become the place I keep private contact with so many people). Many touching, caring, consoling words have reached me. I've also met a few of you in person in the meantime, and yes, I've cried a lot of your t-shirts wet in the last few days. Thank you for your selfless comfort.
And then there are, I'll just call you the big three. Three incredible Nostriches (I'm not allowed to mention their names, unfortunately) just sent me really big sums of sats and yes, even whole bitcoins (I'll stick with it, you're completely crazy ). Thank you. Now I am in the fortunate position of not needing money. So I decided to forward the donations to projects that actually need financial help ( of course with the consent of the donors).
One project in Senegal, one in Guadeloupe and a children's cancer center in a French hospital. The big three have already received all the information and documentation from me. I will visit the projects in Senegal and Guadeloupe next/this year and maybe post some pictures here.
It's also time to let go. If you've been following my posts a bit, you know I like quotes as well as photos. I feel a little like I've fallen out of a quote, like I need to show that they rightly exist. A quote that says you have to let go of the past to have a future. Well, I guess I'll have to prove that.
What will we do? My three siblings will live with me.
I have gone through moments in the last week where I thought I couldn't possibly go on for a second longer, there can be no life, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was sure that there could be no tomorrow.
Well, what can I say, the sun actually came up every day and set again in the evening. It turned out that all my pain did not change anything. I decided to acknowledge the situation without relent. This acceptance of what has happened and of the loss allows us to have a future. But I have also decided that I will not accept any compromises, tomorrow is too uncertain.
We will spend the summer in Sweden, my mother's homeland. The incredible nature and the place with which we associate so many beautiful moments together will hopefully let us rest a little and the healing can begin. Conversations, memories, but also plans I hope for the next few weeks. And then we go to Guadeloupe (my father's homeland). After endless surfing, we want to explore more countries in the Caribbean, get to know Central and South America. After that, we want to go to Africa. Possibly travel to some more European countries. We want to take one year time for it. After that? We will see. Already now, only a few days after I made this decision and also communicated it, we have received countless invitations from friends of my parents, from my friends and also from you, you unbelievable Nostriches. So we are traveling to friends (and in some regions of this earth also with friends). I will probably stop by here every now and then and post pictures. Exactly, I do not know yet.
I'll be honest, a few weeks ago, I was thinking of a different life at the thought of my future, but absolute acceptance....
Nostr is an incredible place! Take care of yourselves and this place!
(Sorry for the length, but now I'm quiet again for a long time) 
