nostr:nprofile1qqsvnx99ww0sfall7gpv2jtz4ftc9v6wevgdd7g4hh7awkpfvwlezugpz4mhxue69uhkummnw3ezummcw3ezuer9wchsx06t26 lets you define your own relays not sure where the problem is.

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And how many people do that? Nost also let users define their own relays. That doesn't change anything. You are only private if you run your own server. Otherwise you are just giving your privacy to whoever is running the relays for you.

You have to trust who you choose as relay. On nostr or anywhere else. It's the basis of division of labor in civilization. I delegate baking bread to my baker and have to trust them not to spoil it.

Not necessarily. We just haven't build the privacy tools yet.