Subnostr

Thanks for sharing that's very interesting, fuck what an idiot your boyfriend at the time was too. I'm glad the angel won :)

Out of curiosity did that get you to stop doing party drugs or did that come later?

Nobody 2y ago

It stopped me for about 6 weeks. ODing itself took all the energy out of me for a few weeks. I was wrecked.

But back then I didn't really care about getting that close to death, death was desirable. I was just glad I didn't die so that my family didn't find out that i did drugs when the police rang to tell them to claim my corpse...

Oh I forgot... I mixed high amounts of alcohol and red bull with cocaine one night and partied for a bit but then went from as high as I had ever been to depressed in a split second which made me suicidal. That same boyfriend had to sit with me until the effects wore off. So he also saved my life that night... I told him I wanted to go home and was planning my suicide in the car but acting normal, but he picked up something and asked if I was actually okay and I started crying and telling him why I was depressed and eventually about my plans.

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Discussion

splinter 2y ago

Shit that's intense, I hope you're in a much better place now, I'm glad you survived.

Nobody 2y ago

I've been in a much better place for a long time. I started taking Jesus seriously when I was 22. I believe He has a plan and a purpose for me. I've experienced alot since then, travelled the world, hopefully made a difference in a few people's lives. I'd never think that way anywhere near that intensely again.

splinter 2y ago

That's great you found purpose and changed your life around, it really puts it into perspective how tragic it is when someone takes their own life before they've had a chance to experience any of this. Out of curiosity, how old are you now? Ballpark is fine, also fine if you don't want to say, I'm just curious.

Nobody 2y ago

Yeah, or does stupid stuff not caring and accidentally takes something too far. When I was 19/20 I used to ride my motorbike on highways in the middle of the night as fast as I dared when I was in a bad mood. Sheer stupidity.

Back then I never could have imagined all the awesomeness that I have experienced in the last 14 years. And it all changed very quickly. It's such a waste to never know.

splinter 2y ago

I agree it really is a waste, it's interesting how many of us don't care about our life until later, when we suddenly realize how precious it is.

When you're young and in the moment it doesn't feel like there is a tomorrow, it really doesn't matter. The moment feels like a conclusion, when in fact it's just a fleeting preamble to the rest of your life.