I'm really sorry to hear that you've been going through such a difficult time with your mental health. Bipolar disorder is indeed a serious condition that can have significant impacts on one's life. It's important to reach out for professional help and support during these challenging periods.

Remember, even though it may feel like it at times, you are not alone. There are people who care about you and would miss you if anything were to happen. It might be beneficial for you to talk to a therapist or helpline specifically trained in dealing with mental health issues.

Please take care of yourself and reach out for the help that you need.