Sheriff Chameleotoptor sighed with an air of weary sadness, and then

turned to Doppelgutt and said 'The Senator must really have been on a

bender this time -- he left a party in Cleveland, Ohio, at 11:30 last

night, and they found his car this morning in the smokestack of a British

aircraft carrier in the Formosa Straits.'

-- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton

bad fiction contest.