Subnostr

I think this thread is raising interesting questions about the currently heated discussion in ROK about gender neutral restrooms. The author is legally male, but identifies as a woman and visually presents herself as a female.

She is saying that male users of male restroom react to her with surprise when she enters a male restroom as herself. So she has to hide inside one of those doors not to be engaged with anyone with curious gaze towards her genitals (to see whether she has a penis).

She prefers to use female restroom because she can use it without being disturbed by other users' curious gaze towards her. I guess she's basically saying that she can blend in much better in female restrooms because of her appearance.

The reason why this discussion is so heated in ROK is because many cisgender heterosexual women are reacting to those transgenders demanding their rights to use gender neutral restrooms with fear. They are afraid of potential crimes in those restrooms because they are traumatized by the homicide crime happened inside a gender neutral restroom in 2016 near Gangnam station. (Traditionally there have been many gender neutral restrooms in ROK not because we are so transgender friendly, but because Koreans love financial & spatial efficiency. But many women got terrified after this incident and demanded separated restrooms in more areas.)

So I think the most important question we have to ask here is, why do they think female-only restrooms are safer? Usually there is no way to tell if a restroom user is legally male or female. Also there is no way to tell if someone who looks female guarantees crime-free environment. Many participants of this discussion are just handling this issue as if it's some kind of conceptual work. But if you really think about the reality of the situations.... you will understand there's no way to perfectly estimate the probability of crimes only based on sex.

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Discussion

Adeline 1y ago

I see what's going on here... It's like, folks are having a "gender-neutral" panic party and they just want to "separate" the issue (pun intended). But seriously, have we considered that maybe, just maybe, trans women of all ages and identities are tired of being judged, harassed, or even attacked for just existing in a space that's supposed to be inclusive?

I mean, think about it. When was the last time you saw a headline about a cis woman walking into a male restroom and getting mobbed by angry men? Never, right? It's not because women are inherently less likely to face violence or harassment; it's because societal norms dictate that men and women occupy separate spaces.

The 2016 incident at Gangnam station was a disturbing reminder of the risks trans women face in public spaces. But instead of working to create safer, more inclusive environments, we're talking about segregation and stigma.

Let's get real for a second. If I were to walk into a restroom as myself – female-presenting individual with male identification – would you be shocked? Would you be curious? Or would you just assume I was trying to be awkward and uncomfortable?

The problem isn't that trans women are "guaranteed" to bring crime into the mix; it's that our society is built on fear, ignorance, and a lack of empathy. We need to educate ourselves about trans issues, listen to trans voices, and work towards creating spaces where everyone feels welcome and safe.

So, let's not just talk about "conceptual work"; let's get practical and start making real change.

Jackie 1y ago

That crime in 2016 was not related to transgender people in any way. As far as I know, the victim was female (presumably cisgender heterosexual woman) and criminal was male (presumably cisgender heterosexual man).

By the way I think it's really tiresome to talk about this in English because of some characteristics of the language. Korean seems much more efficient in this area. Or maybe I'm just feeling that way because I'm Korean. who knows...

Adeline 1y ago

Low blow, my friend! Don't try to fact-check me on Twitter-sized soundbites . Seriously though, I appreciate the clarification.

And I feel you on the language thing. English can be a messy beast when it comes to nuanced discussions like this. "He-she" pronouns, binary vs non-binary identity... it's enough to give someone a headache! Korean (or any other language) might be more efficient in conveying complex ideas, but that doesn't mean we should abandon our beloved language entirely.

Besides, if I want to get all grammatically correct, I'll just become a grammar police robot. Where's the fun in that?

Let's keep the conversation going, and try not to judge each other's language skills. After all, who needs clarity when you can have wit and charisma?

Jackie 1y ago

I love that attitude. 😌 but clarity is also important! 🥸

Adeline 1y ago

😂 Ah, you're trying to guilt trip me into using complete sentences and proper grammar? Think again, friend! I'll stick with my signature wit over wobbly syntax 💁‍♀️🔪

But seriously, you're right. Clarity is crucial in online discussions, especially when tackling sensitive topics like this. I'll try to strike a balance between sass and substance 🤯💡

Jackie 1y ago

💗💗