This is the crux of what I'm trying to figure out. Are there Bitcoin compatible tools that already give me privacy without using Monero? I don't care if they work differently.
Discussion
If you understand the limitations and tradeoffs, Liquid (confidential transactions, but addresses are linkable) and Lightning (hot wallet network, I wouldn't put too much money in it) are probably good-enough choices for most cases.
I use them myself too, although Liquid admittedly far less than Lightning.
When it comes to storing a fat chunk privately and anonymously though, that's where Monero shines.
And since I believe privacy is a necessity, that's what I use as the "(oldschool, not cucked) Swiss bank account in my pocket".
YMMV. Personally I don't see much of an issue with using both chains, provided you can easily and trustlessly swap between them.
This is already possible, and it will only get better.