I still have them do on-chain and lightning separately, explaining that Lightning is like their checking account, or a small savings that you build up a bit before putting the funds into long-term savings (on-chain).

As for what wallet, generally stick with Phoenix for lightning and Nunchuk for on-chain. Nunchuk CAN be connected to your home node via Tor by pairing it with Orbot, but I feel like that's something they should do with their own node when they are ready.

Another thing to note is, I make sure to get them set up with a sizeable channel on Phoenix so they are not likely to run into surprise fees for needing increased liquidity.