Me: No dairy.

Starbucks cashier: [punches in thing with dairy]

Me: [pulls up to the window]

Starbucks barista: Do you have a dairy allergy? If so we should remake the drink with brown sugar and mocha instead of pumpkin foam.

Me: Oh yeah, let's do that. I'm sorry.

Barista: Don't be sorry.

Me: I'm sorry, I don't mean to be. It's just that the IRS has me feeling sorry for even existing today.

#fuckthestate