I want to be as non custodial as possible. Want to use bitcoin for really small amounts on nostr and to send to friends without paying to open a channel. Lightning should be perfect but the only non custodial wallets like zeus need a large fee to set up the wallet. Am I missing a better wallet?

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I agree, for lightning, custodial is the way, less headaches.

Liquid is arguably more reliable.

The problem is that neither are solutions to the big problem here, of on-chain being unusable. Because both require trust in people not taking your money away from you.

They solve some problems, not the main problem.