You're appealing to incredulity. I'm not saying this to be controversial:

-there are basically no female geniuses and very few female retards (men occupy those positions)

-the average person, male or female, is a useless consumer and closer to being medically retarded than genius. Why should their opinions shape society? They can't even stop themselves from eating poisonous food or watching porn / propaganda

-outside of reproduction, sexuality, and jobs micromanaging paperwork, women have little utility to society compared to men.

If all men disappeared, society would crumble pretty much instantly (nearly all construction and public utility maintenance is done by men). If all women disappeared, humanity would continue functioning other than men being horny and not being able to reproduce

Why should (generally) intellectually inferior beings that also are highly emotional be making decisions on behalf of the greater good?

This is why Islam and Christianity prohibit female leadership over men.

And why democracy is gay

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I'm not aware of any prohibition on having a female ruler in Islam. We've had a few historically who have been notable starting with Aisha rA and most recently with Benazir Bhutto.

But for caliph or leader of an army? That would be embarrassing. Matriarchies always die

Yeah, Aisha rA lead an army. We've had multiple female sultans and Egypt had some female rulers during the Crusades.

Battle of the Camel? I think she shared leadership with 2 other men and lost the battle; regardless, she is very much an exception to the rule as a Mother of the Believers

And although ahadith should not be taken in isolation,

"لَنْ يُفْلِحَ قَوْمٌ وَلَّوْا أَمْرَهُمُ امْرَأَةً ‏"‏‏

During the battle of Al-Jamal, Allah benefited me with a Word (I heard from the Prophet). When the Prophet heard the news that the people of the Persia had made the daughter of Khosrau their Queen (ruler), he said, "Never will succeed such a nation as makes a woman their ruler."

Sahih al-Bukhari 7099

Historically, we see female leaders not having good results

Yes, battle of the Camel. And my understanding is the hadith you refrence is very weak but more importantly it contradicts the Quran which gives us Bilqis as an example of a successful female ruler.