Yeah, kids really change the dynamic, but kids don't stay small forever, and some couples can't have kids, so it's important that Christians remember that subsidiarity is a worthy goal. The decision should be made at the lowest-practical level, and that's the home, in this situation.

The whole idea, that we carve such rules into stone at a societal level, in order to keep husbands in their rightful place as the head of house, is schizophrenic. He can't be the head, if all he says is whatever someone has decided he will say. Then he's just a figurehead. He has to be free to make decisions and respond to the environment.