I think TTL(time-to-live) is the way, maybe not just pure deletes, but after some time the note dies unless paid for or interacted with. It's the circle of life.

More relays could sustain with this type of model. But hey it's open, do what ya like. If someone has TTL relays let me know!

https://primal.net/e/note1ns2645sx75zlm2gdhfhv2ye6p58s0g7uv7r5p8u74ym4kzzzmfwsl5yx6v

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Discussion

I think nostr-rs-relay and strfry both support NIP-40 by default. I check the supported NIPs on my relays from time to time and I think about half of my relays support it.