That is not how that works.

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Ngl, I was prepared for this answer

https://youtu.be/C1_uez5WX1o

Posting a kid song maybe explains why your point of «CO2 is plant food» is oversimplified. That is only a small part of the truth and misses the full picture of how our climate system works.

Charlatans hide behind complexity, confusion, and “trust the experts”.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt to simply explain your objection that;

1. CO2 is not plant food

2. CO2 is not plant fertilizer

I think the correct way to look at this is bottlenecks.

Does more CO2 actually help plants in a statistically detectable manner, or is there something else preventing it from going faster? (such as a hard limit on how much photosynthesis can happen, or not enough sunlight)

Unequivocally yes

Has it been proven under equal environments (excl. CO2 ppm) with different plant types and a somewhat large sample size?

Most large indoor grow operations use co2 generators to increase yields

Yes.

Commercial greenhouses pay to inject co2 to increase yields.

NASA measured a greening of the Earth

🔥

My objection is about your conclusion, not the two points you mention.