"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Why did you pull me over, officer?"

"Because you were speeding. Do you know how fast you were going?"

"How fast was I going?"

"15 mph over the speed limit. Okay, if you had a list of 5 crimes that you have committed that you will never tell a police officer about, what crimes are those?"

"Uhhhhhhh..."

"Sir please hand me your driver's license."

"Okay, here you go."

"Sir, why do you appear older than the person in this photo? And where is your registration and proof of insurance, sir?"

"Oh! Er, they're over here in my glove compartment, see?"

"Sir that doesn't answer my question. Do you understand what I'm asking?"

"Er, I mean it's because I'm older now then I was when that photo was taken?"

"Alright sir, have you had anything to drink? Because you are exhibiting signs of inebriation. You are having difficulty understanding simple questions, you are slow to respond, you are sweating, you have an unfocused gaze, you stink..."

"Oh, sorry officer, I was just coming home from the gym."

"... and now your gaze is strangely fixated on my face. Why were you travelling so fast sir?"

"Ah, sorry officer, a car was tailgaiting me and I was trying to make space-"

"Oh, that was me."

"...I see. Well, I was trying to make space between us, but I realize now that it would have been better for me to pull to the side and let you pass, officer."

"Ok, if you say so sir. Anyway, I'm going to write you a ticket for speeding, driving with a fake license, and drunk driving. I would appreciate if you didn't fight this in court because between you and me, I kinda eyeballed the speed you were going at and I'd hate to lose an afternoon visiting the courtroom. I learned my lesson and I've been nothing but courtious to you, so I think my request is reasonable. So thanks and have a good day sir!"