Here's what I'd do if I had laid claim to land that was already granted to me illegally (see Balfour Declaration, Haavara Agreement):

Don't ever be the aggressor in any case, invest only in strong defenses. Don't expand your country's borders further via settler colonialism by burning down and shooting at people who currently live on that land.

Don't force native people into open air prisons under Apartheid. Don't run an international assassination and terror squad under the guise of a foreign intelligence service.

Don't put "post future land grab Greater Israel" patches on your soldiers uniforms

Don't commit genocides. Don't shoot at starving people seeking foreign aid provided post genocide.

Don't have your officials publicly declare the previous inhabitants to be subhuman animals that must be eradicated.

Don't run to the big brother (that you control via blackmail, monetary influence, religious zealots) after provoking the wrong enemy.

I could go on.

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I think you completely missed the question.

Your post contains 3 questions, I focused on the one that directly impacts the outcomes of the other 2.

It doesn't.

If Israel did nothing now. Just focused on itself and ignored the external, would the the Iranian regime give up its ultimate goal?

This is the elephant in the room. I will reiterate the premise here:

The past has happened.

Both sides have done heinous shit.

Both sides have fanatical elements that are intent on their goal.

Does one side give up on that goal mean the other side will?

We annot go backwards, we can only go forwards, and if we find ourselves posing the question "what do you expect them to do" then the same question applies to the other side.

Unless somehow we are suggesting the Israelis are somehow more capable of recognising the death spiral they are caught in, and are the ones who must change? ( While ignoring the question I posed above )

I don’t think he has missed the point. Doing all those things, In particular not committing genocide and not deliberately starving children would go a long way to keeping Israel safe. While Israelis imagines they’re unsafe the Palestinians are literally being killed by Israelis who are feeling that they are the ones being threatened. Make it make sense please.

But you can't erase what has been done, right?

One side openly says they would commit genocide if they could - they don't even hide it. You think if Israel stopped now, that goal would change somehow?

One side says it and one side does it. The side that’s doing it should stop. Like the old saying goes “dropping the equivalent of 5x Hiroshima’s A-bomb on me will break my bones but words will never hurt me”.

I keep hearing that. So the plan is to wait until one side that can't, eventually 'can?'

It is not possible to be victim of a genocide while committing a genocide. Maybe I’m the naive one here but I just can’t justify deliberately starving children to death on the off chance that the child grows up to be a freedom fighter (or terrorist depending on your point of view).

How does Iran factor into that statement?