May u should start with phoenix:
its an very easy self custody solution.
U hold ur private keys.
Ur wallet acts as an own node and phoenix as an LSP and mange the lightning channel stuff. and the features are almost State of art like bolt12 support etc.
The downside, phoenix has no NWC implementation, so if u want to zap from an nostr client directly with an self custody u need Alby,Zeus etc.