What happens if I hit broadcast on a note? Does it get published to all my relays even if that user isn't connected?

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your client publishes the note in all the relays to which you are connected, associating it with your key, your followers look for the notes identified with your public key, if someone follows you, they are surely connected to the same relay as you, the users who are not Connected to the relay where your notes are stored, they will not see what you post.

manage ur relays properly - broadcast same sendrawtransaction to connected peers only

Idk