this is good and necessary imo; clients need to be hardened against malicious relays

yes, outbox makes this slightly worse, but if a user manually connects to a malicious relay that buffer-overflows the client and leaks the nsec or something like that it'd be equally bad whether the connection to the relay started automatically or manually

great to see damus is moving in this direction

btw, don't know if you saw it, but nostur does this where it keeps a local copy of the contact list and if a "large" change is detected it prompts you to republish your old state