I've been panicking for over a year that Digit could be dead due to either suicide or cancer. But the cancer scares me even more than the suicide because if she killed herself at least it would be on her own terms and she would have been managing the fear of death. If it was cancer, that would mean she died scared and fighting it. I just hope she's alive and it doesn't feel fair to reply to this when you know you've lost someone and I don't know if I have. But I hope over time you can come to be less angry at your dad for going out on his own terms at a moment where he wasn't too scared.