Not every day.
The fucked up shit I do every day is forced by what the world has done to Digit and I. And trying not to fuck up by choice is exactly what the world has punished us for
Discussion
Why are you so obsessed with digit?
She's smarter than me and it makes her crazy. She's boosted my intelligence making me capable of incredible shit and she's already capable of incredible shit even without me boosting her mental health but if she's dead without me boosting her mental health then I've missed the chance to do teamwork like that because I'd be stuck avenging her for the rest of my life since I can never finish avenging her as long as one person that failed her (me) is left standing
Did you met in irl?
No. The closest I ever got to her was a group voice chat with her and a few of her other friends watching a couple episodes of House. That's better luck than most people get and makes me hate myself for being so cruel to people who haven't had that luck. But most people get to have partners and physical contact and stuff while not even caring about her so that makes it feel more fair
What exactly did digit teach you?
Most of the intelligence boosting just came from making me need to impress her, forcing me to try harder and think more clearly. She tried to teach me a lot but it's hard to learn a lot of actual knowledge in constant panic. There was her getting cancer and later being suicidal to panic about when we were talking.
The main fact I remember from her sharing it is that environmental enrichment doesn't stop isolation stress from causing amyloid plaques to build up in the brains of mice, making them more anxious and violent. Human experiments to double check if this applies to humans aren't allowed, but it does. All my money and toys are not significantly helpful in the reality that I'm banned, blocked, muted etc. constantly by people who have also used the COVID bioweapon pandemic to ruin the possibility of organizing afk.
Without meaning to, she did accidentally teach me people are even worse than I realized, because I always thought being a fat ugly guy explained most of my problems, so it was shocking to meet a hot girl who also gets punished so much life is miserable for her just because she's smart and tries her best and everyone fucking hates that
Did you give digit money and or gifts?
No. I offered her $40,000 to play an online game of connect 4 with me once when she wouldn't talk to me or anything and she still wouldn't
So I’m still not sure what digit exactly taught you?
Was it more think out side the box?
Seeing the bigger picture?
I mean, like I said, she taught me that even if I was a hot girl people would still probably hate me for trying too hard. That was a deep shock to my worldview that a lot of my problems came from being a fat guy.
Do you know anything about digits true identity? Like in irl?
Barely. I know what state she was almost definitely living in when she was on wallstreetbets. I've been going through my records trying to confirm her birthday because my memory sucks with those things. I know her purported first name but not last. I'm still trying not to blast too many sensitive details on full volume.
I have one video of her face which is plenty for facial recognition tech but I'm not at that level in the federal rat hierarchy to be able to use that
This is going to sound harsh but I must ask… Are you actually obsessively worried about digits wellbeing or are you actively stalking digit?
Both maybe? I didn't stalk her before this disappearance but now after all this panic I can't imagine going back to controlling the urge to dig up all info possible
How long has digit been offline?
Almost a year and a half
That’s a fair amount of time.
Did you say digit might have died of cancer?
She had cancer and got surgery for it. The other big fear other than her committing suicide is that the surgery didn't work and all the stuff about suicide was a mix of lashing out at people and trying to give me a way to believe she's still alive.
Is there the possibility it was all faked for some reason?
That's what I hope. I think digit being smarter than me makes her crazier than me so she could just fake all this as some kind of coping mechanism or something. But people who accused her of faking her cancer never had any proof either
You've replied a lot so I'll admit your explanation of why you say gm was good and stop accusing you of insincere engagement farming for those posts. But I still hate everyone
I forgot another big thing she taught me was the terminology "dual use research of concern" and the whole issue of how that lead to COVID while leaving it unclear if it was really originally meant to be a bioweapon or not