TLDR but isn't mining supposed to be selfish?
I'm too stupid to understand selfish mining, please help: https://bitcoin.stackexchange.com/questions/125682/why-is-a-self-mining-attack-with-bad-propagation-γ-0-still-profitable
Discussion
2013 was a good time to argue about terminology here :-)
But yes, nobody is blaming miners for following a strategy that's in their own interest, but we do want to make sure this _isn't_ in their own interest - because then you'd end up with a single pool.