You are not well. You need to seek proper treatment. You are obsessed with a person that does not wish to be in contact with you and does not wish to be found by you.
You must seek help and move on with your life.
Discussion
Yes. You should seek treatment for being as sick and depraved as you are. You’re obsessed with a woman and trying to track her down against her wishes.
You need to seek proper treatment as soon as possible and move on with your life.