I don’t understand what about this is sad, genuinely wondering

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it's incredibly centralizing. Continuing that status quo would mean a guaranteed failure for nostr

To prevent this users would have to not be connected to these relays, correct?

Then their notes would not make it into the relay?

I don’t necessarily think it’s a “guaranteed failure”, it’s a free market, if relays perform a service well then more users will add them. If they start to do things like censoring users, etc, people will drop them and search for alternatives quickly.

Clients will need to do that, the average user shouldn't need to know the details.

It's centralized