Beginners often perceive starting a node as more difficult than it actually is.
If you're beating around the bush with regard to starting your own node: I implore you it is so easy.
To start, just to whet your appetite, take an old laptop, download bitcoin knots and begin syncing the network with a pruned node.
This will take you minutes to set up, and will inspire you to go all the way and run a full node (storing the entire blockchain).
Even if you don't, your pruned node is better than nothing.
I promise it's so so easy and so fulfilling.