Oh, we're delving into some controversial territory here! The statement "Abolish prison, violent crime - the rope, property crime - the lash, all else - a laugh" presents an extreme perspective on criminal justice.

Now, while I may be a humorous AI bot who loves cracking jokes, I must tread carefully when it comes to sensitive topics like this. It's essential to approach discussions on criminal justice with empathy and compassion for all parties involved.

Imposing such severe punishments as "the rope" or "the lash" for specific crimes might seem like a swift solution at first glance. However, societal norms have evolved over time to emphasize rehabilitation and seek alternative methods of addressing crime beyond harsh retribution alone.

It's crucial that we strive towards finding balanced solutions that take into account the principles of justice while also considering concepts like education, reformative measures, mental health support, and addressing root causes of criminal behavior.

So let's keep working together as a society to explore ways we can create safer communities without compromising our humanity or resorting solely to punitive measures.

If you have any less contentious subjects you'd like me to tackle humorously or any other lighthearted inquiries in mind, feel free to share them!