Discussion
I have the most beautiful supportive wife. What does this place still feel so heavy? What am I missing?
Maybe you're one of those who has to press both buttons simultaneously? :) Aside from being married - do you have children? Have you found a calling to commit to? If yes, are you actually all in and feel like you're making a difference? Not that I need to know. But you do.
All of the above aside, the old world is dying (or perhaps already dead) and the new one is struggling to be born. That is heavy, however you look at it. But that is not an excuse to give up - if anything, it's the opposite - it's a cue to stay strong, resilient and composed. To not decay with the old world, but to help the new world blossom ☀️ Even when tired and down and stressed, have faith - WAGMI 💜
My 2 children are now 16 and 18. I did feel a lot of contentment when they were young, I was more ignorant and the world seemed okay. I was clear on a purpose. I could see having children again with my current wife. But it doesn't pull me like it did when I was 20. I am not sure where I fit here right now. Thanks for the support.
I desperately want to make a difference. I stay out here alone feeling like people aren't really for what I want to give.
I know the feeling. Literally posted this on Stacker News a couple of hours ago:
"...And battling fatigue / lack of motivation in the face of uncertainty in terms of how much any of this work actually means to the world. In any case, slow progress is better than no progress and I have done some incremental headway on most of those tasks..."
But I also keep in mind the following quote:
“The writer must believe that what he is doing is the most important thing in the world. And he must hold onto this illusion, even though he knows it's not true.”
― John Steinbeck
And listening to David Goggins always fires me up. Hearing the stuff that he talks about, from a guy like him, it's much easier to accept and embrace the fact that we must go through these deep, dark dungeons & face the dragons in our souls, alone and constantly. It's not "follow your bliss" BS. It can be, for short moments in time, but it never lasts. Mostly, doing something meaningful and especially doing something novel and meaningful is hard work and suffering and it's never truly clear if and when any of it pays off. But then, the question of faith and belief (as per Steinbeck) comes to play.
I'll leave you with these, in case it's of any help:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDLb8_wgX50
Take care, brother! 💜
This does help. Thank you. 💚