Dear asshole

I hope this email finds you well

Tell your father his brother is dead

I don't even want to write to you

Because of all your drama

But it's required of me

No one said it had to be thoughtful

By the way

Your website is trash

Your grammar is off

Your spelling is atrocious

The UX hurts my soul and my eyes

And you're vulnerable 100 different ways

Good luck with that

I feel bad for your customers

At least

That's what I want to say