I would argue that it comes down to how the most popular clients will set their relays. Right now most clients do not actively engage you to set your own relays or choose some from a list. Instead they mostly seem to use some predefined list. If they don't change this then inherently the relays defined by the most popular clients will see the biggest engagement and therefore become the biggest centralized hot spots.

On the other hand i can also understand that the experience may not be really awesome if you pick some (random) relays that people are just testing out for a couple of days or weeks just to see them disappear shortly thereafter.

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Also, people don't know what relays are. The idea of relays and clients is still new to 99% of the population. Making someone learn what a relay is, how to choose one, what they do, etc... before using nostr won't be good for adoption. Having default relays set allows users to easily join. As a digital marketer and bitcoiner...I can say, getting on nostr hasn't been intuitive. But I love the idea and the concepts behind it. But for the average user, the experience and ease of use needs to be improved.

Perhaps the clients should randomly use / rotate through relays in order to better decentralize?