How do I know what relays to use?

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Your own should be the start.

Easy way is just to find an account who’s judgment you trust and scrape all their relays… or search for some yourself on nostr.watch

I’ve been wondering the same thing

Toggle them on and off in the “Universe” tab to see which combinations cuts out spam while keeping the rest

+ get 2-3 paid ones and keep active list of 15-20. That worked for me.

That's so much more than me Maybe I should use it

You just have to ask some friends. Add any that you can.

theoretically your client should look at the people you follow and pick up all their relays

But I found you she just picked the top 10 clients find out what their defaults are and use them

and then there's a paid service that I use that really speeds things up

nostr.wine

https://void.cat/d/Rz2YYDhvitD6C89nsFkAGz.webp

This displays how many cucks have already banned porn, but these are mine

You can snap shot mine. I have one paid and 23 unpaid and have no problems