Scene: Homer has transformed the garage into a “Bitcoin Command Center,” complete with random wires, buzzing computers, and a poorly drawn “Bitcoin Forever” poster. Bart stares, wide-eyed, as Homer is decked out in a “Bitcoin Warrior” T-shirt, looking like he’s about to give the speech of a lifetime.
Homer: (voice booming) Bart! Welcome... to the future! A future without banks, without cash, and where your old man is about to be... a cryptocurrency kingpin
Bart: (blinking) Uh… didn’t you just learn about Bitcoin last week?
Homer: (dramatic pause) Yesss… but Bitcoin doesn’t wait for anybody, Bart! It’s like… freedom in code form! Imagine a world where your money isn’t controlled by The Man. Instead, it’s in the hands of... the internet.
Bart: (skeptical) So… my allowance is now on the internet?
Homer: Exactly! No more pennies, no more dimes! Now you’re rich in... digital dreams. And instead of the bank telling you what you can buy, we’re putting our faith in a giant network of computers that all agree… sorta. Mostly.
Bart: (confused) So… who’s actually in charge?
Homer: (grinning) *Nobody!* That’s the beauty of it! Bitcoin belongs to the people! Or, you know, the people who got in early enough. Now, every time someone buys Bitcoin, the value goes up and up, like a rocket to the moon!
Bart: And what happens if it crashes?
Homer: (snaps fingers) That’s where you don’t think about it, Bart! Bitcoiners don’t “crash”—they HODL! When the value drops, you grit your teeth, you clench your fists, and you scream, “HODL!” while everything falls apart around you.
Bart: (excited) So… it’s like riding a roller coaster?
Homer: Exactly! But with your entire life savings!
Bart: (eyes wide) Whoa. This is… extreme.
Homer: (getting louder) That’s right! It’s the most extreme form of money ever! It’s like… financial skydiving! Or surfing on a wave of digital gold! Bart, this is our ticket out of here! This time next week, we could be living on a beach, with a mansion made of pure Bitcoin!
Bart: (whispers, in awe) Bitcoin forever…
Homer: (pumping fist) Bitcoin FOREVER!
#bitcoin #nostr #anarchyâ’¶ #blockchain
