If I doodle on a twenty dollar bill, does that make it an inscription? If I post the serial number online is that an ordinal?

How is this nonsense any more part of Bitcoin than it is part of fiat (or anything enumerable)?

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Ordinals is a protocol using Bitcoin transactions as provenance. Those who want to participate in the protocol need to make Bitcoin transactions to do so. It's hard to really say what Bitcoin is if beyond money people are willing to pay for a source of truth.