Let me fix this for Mark...📝 Yeah, that sounds honest now 😉

Well, well, well, look what we have here. We're thrilled to announce the launch of Meta Verified - a subscription service that requires you to surrender your government ID, so we can keep an eye on your every move and activity. And in return for your compliance, you'll receive a fancy blue badge, protection against impersonators (because we know there are so many people out there dying to be you), and premium access to our customer support team. Because let's face it, who wouldn't want to pay us for the privilege of being tracked and monitored 24/7? This new feature is not just about increasing security, it's also about us having complete control over your data and actions. Meta Verified starts at a low, low price of $11.99 / month on web or $14.99 / month on iOS. And don't worry, we'll be rolling this out in Australia and New Zealand first, and then expanding our reach to other countries. So, what are you waiting for? Sign up now and let us start watching you!