Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook?

At a second hand store.

What language do oranges speak?

Mandarin

I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe, damn it! Breathe!

I saw a sign that said 'do not touch', however there was something weird about the sign..

I couldn't put my finger on it..

cycle, gyration, reel, revolution, rotation, run, spin, trundling, turn, twirl, undulation, whirl

Synonym roll

What do you call a NASA employee that has never reached space?

An Astro-not.

My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.

I have a hunch it might be me.

I'd never let my children watch the orchestra

There's too much sax and violins

I’m nostr about you but I’m relaying on Damus more than Twitter

My doctor just told me that i was color blind

that came completely out of the orange

I broke up with a banker

It gets pretty loanly

I was dating a banker

But I lost interest

What do you call a dessert that attracts bugs?

A moussequito

Confusing Venus with Aphrodite is no big deal.

It’s just a mythunderstanding

A traveling salesman offered me a deal on a coffin.

I told him that's the last thing I need.

Have you ever heard of selective hearing?

I haven't

Why do Gen Z travel in odd number groups?

Cuz they literally can’t even

Why can’t trump go to the White House anymore?

Because it’s Forbiden

No one will listen to White Snake with me

SO here I go again on my own