I once dated a woman who was 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 Turkish, 1/4 Danish, and 1/4 Vietnamese.
She was great but I had to break up with her.
Too many red flags.
hee-heeegypt 
I just got diagnosed with Tom Jones syndrome.
Wife: Is that common?
Me: It's not unusual.
A bug hit my windshield..
I bet he won't have the guts to do that again.
Happy Valentine’s! Can’t wait for a date with candles 😍 
I’m writing this post to talk about reverse psychology.
Please do not like or repost.
I made a chicken salad yesterday..
Turns out they prefer grain.
When you know the #Bitcoin halving is near 
I accidentally ripped the outfit I wore to the Super Bowl.
I need a tailor, swiftly.
Loved the new Crypto Super Bowl ad! 
What do you call 66% of a poop?
Two turds
The S&P 500 hit 5,000. That means every company is now worth $10.
Anyone want to buy a broken barometer?
No pressure.