When writing science fiction, always Google your made-up planet name; 9 times out of 10, it's an existing yeast infection medication.

The worst part about eating a bag of dicks is I always promise myself just one more dick and I’ll save the rest for later…but then it’s ok just one more and after that last one I swear and inevitably I polish off the whole bag and feel bloated and over-full and vow to myself next time I’ll only have half the bag in one sitting.

“I theorize there's a rare form of radioactive decay that could suggest neutrinos are their own anti-particles,” my date says.

ME: … I like butts.

Love how Earth provides a spectacular cycle of rain to nourish the planet and its inhabitants, and I’m all, “this sky juice is bullshit.”