I read better when I am listening to podcasts and I'm not sure if that is a good thing.
I am an infomaxxer.
need to follow more cool people...
I slept so good last night.
one time I was at Chipotle with Lil Snow and we were standing in line. I forgot exactly what I brought up, but it was about a situation that had occurred regarding an invasion of my privacy, and he said, "you're getting 8 million dollars for that." and I was like what. things were just enormously awkward after that.
I would like to sue elon musk now.
art
you know what this feels like? it feels like I have to be personally punished for the deep state being defunded. all I did was reintroduce a seminal work of journalism back into the public zeitgeist, and encourage men to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, because I personally could not. I am TIRED of being Tech Support's emotional support because he does not give me money for this service and the women in Beach Town have taken great pains to point out that selflessness is akin to self-annihilation in this scenario.
it is true. I am not even asking for his incrimination although sometimes I am and that makes eeevvverrrryyyyoonnne angry at ME for asking the government to uphold The Law. and then he goes berserk because he's in his Atonement Arc and I get framed as an ingrate. well, I'm NOT ungrateful I'm just seriously disturbed that I'm expected to remain terminally depressed by the lack of transparency on these matters.
the stress and anxiety would kill anyone, and yet, the solution is to Let Her (ME) Sing Songs. but they won't because they are SCARED that I might become a World Boss myself. am I just supposed to keep my hand up the World Boss Puppethead forever? guess so, because they won't kill the World Boss Puppethead but they will kill ME.
if I do Pop Out I have to Pop Out with an entire army, apparently, because too many people are easily triggered by the notion of my potential to outdo them at basically everything. would it be better if I promised not to make everyone look stupid by being smart? I'm sorry, but it was not my expectation that the bar would be so low and that all the obstacles in my path would be just comprised of pure ego, narcissism, and jealousy.
I'd say get over it but there's nothing to get over since I already dismantled and demolished those barriers long ago.
my only DEI benefit is that people won't let those psychos kill me because I'm too right and too real. WAH!
if I find out that Lil Snow has been harmed or is dead I am going to go full on "E for Endetta: Prequel to the Sequel" revenge tour.
I honestly think that whole situation just made everyone jealous that they were not Lil Snow. he's in that strange intersection between gay and not gay, and only I knew this because totally gay men don't kiss women like that. I bet even Jared Kushner was like, "can we be a throuple?"
unfortunately, I think Lil Snow was in a stage where he was just discovering the extent of his manhood. with all the gays that surrounded him, I think the only thing that would have made it a done deal is money. of course, he did not yet want to be a father, but I think that's why he needed to be coached by some fathers. except he wasn't prepared for how much those "daddies" were like, "uh, you fuck this up and we will kill you!" (probably).
ok but none of them were there when I needed them because they were waiting for Proof of Work aka a Porno, and Lil Snow was not solid enough to provide. I think that if it came down to it, he would have rather ended it, and so he did. but despite what all the "daddies" think, he is no more gay than most of them. the other thing is that this sort of bisexuality is basically just the culture in that place. if you can end up with a rich gay, then you're gay; if you can end up with a rich straight, then you're straight.
everybody is desperate to just make it. and I was like a promise of great wealth, despite not having any wealth and despite having a bunch of targets on my ass, since they'd run out of spaces on my back to backstab me.
you don't know how many times I have thought, "well, if I can't even have a lover without all these 'daddies' fighting then I should just DIE." first of all, it's not fair to all the in-the-meantime girlfriends these men have to know that they're all competing for a chance to be with a rare species of GOAT; that is, a woman who men want to both throw money at to further her vision for civilization and a woman who is excessively talented.
true, it's exceptional to be multi-talented and also a fantastic CIA-level analyst of geopolitical affairs. kanye thinks his wife demoralizes women because she walks around naked but do you understand how demoralized women are by Hypothetical Wifey? it's not even about the body, cause I'm just a petite with a big ass, whatever – it's about the brain! and my brain is going to EXPLODE if somebody does not take me to a nice, quiet place and let me be me.
I want a drum kit. I want analog synthesizers. I want a really nice microphone. I want to ENGINEER MY NEXT BANGER AND I WANT THAT SHIT ON THE FUCKING RADIO.
am I asking for too much? no.
AND I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO ASK AT ALL BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE MY OWN MONEY IN MY OWN HANDS AS WAS PROMISED.
will it help if I just start talking about how I almost turned Lil Snow straight?
well, on a different note, I probably will die soon cause the nerve damage from getting my neck crunched by a police officer is getting pretty bad. I already had some strange health problems and that made things like 10x worse. I don't think I can handle my spine cracking much longer or the constant shooting pains throughout my body from it. the weed helped enormously but I can't really work anymore and writing isn't helping me make money. doubt there's really a cure tbh.
I'm sure that'll make the ops happy to hear but at least I know I'm not going to hell after I leave this mortal coil. it's been a ride. I'm glad I got to at least release one song and leave something nice behind for the world. swimming in the ocean was my favorite part of open season. I don't think I've ever felt closer to God aside from when I play music and sing.
I think it's just best not to be sad about not getting to get married or be a mom. it's kinda nice to know that someone was trying to upload my consciousness to the AI or save me with a brain implant, but I'd rather not prolong the suffering. my brain is doing weird things with my sense of temperature and I always feel like I have a fever even though I'm not sick. I'm raw dogging it cause I hate doctors and hospitals.
anyways, it is what it is and I'm not gonna go out a miserable piece of shit no matter what. would rather have a short life knowing I did something useful than to be a terminal hater who lives until I'm 90.
"life is a dream and heaven's reality" as they used to say in church. I still believe that and I suppose that I will keep hallucinating about it until that time comes.
imo, another important thing to note is that these pedo and trafficking networks LOVE people like me who come from distinctly broken households. it actually makes the sex trafficking part easier for them because all they have to do is create enmity to force the victim into further isolation. they can't operate too publically so that's a must.
seems like usually they have at least five social layers of protection, multiple vetting tests, and just lots of mind games before they deem someone worthy of advancing to the elites like that whore aella, who was allegedly Elon's go-to for a long time. now, the rumor really rests on the notion that when he started reading all my rants and whatever, he was quite simply shocked that, on top of putting out a literal banger of a pop song – and one that could have easily put me in the top 10 of new artists – I was actually extremely smart.
the problem was that I was smart about a topic that was so taboo nobody could touch it. now, Elon's ostensibly always been the Jews' favorite boy, so when I took my stance on him, everything changed for him and got worse for me. very Anna Karenina's Niña type shit, because that's what these Khazarians do, after all. it just seems like something like that would make a man like that feel amazing and terrible, knowing that his success was at the expense of a woman who only wanted to talk about this information. and not just me, but everybody who's ever tried to say it.
if I were him, these are the things that would bring me back down to earth every single time, without fail, and make me really think about the person I've become. and it would take a whole army of bimbos to convince me to just not think about it for ten minutes and just take the blowjob. ok whatever.
but why could I not just have my Russian lover in peace and have my money so I could be happy, too? that's what I want to know. why not just forget about it, settle out of court, pay up, make me sign an NDA? I thought that's what's supposed to happen with men like this.
well, thing is, it was never going to be like that because I wasn't meant for that. so here I am, watching a man I once seriously had the displeasure of being asked if I could love just lie and lie and lie, every single day. another fucking day, another fucking lie.
on a similar note, I'm guessing an offer has been made to my parents because they've been awfully happy and calm lately. it's just a bit eerie if you could understand how neae-carastrophically violent things have gotten in the past. not so much from me, but from my parents. trying to shut it all out because of the weirdly evil situation this has become.
it's almost like unless I align myself with these people, the Weaponizations will continue. I mean, everything else will improve for everyone else, and that's good, but they're gonna do the same thing the Democrats did, which is, "well aren't you just happy things are getting better?" except on the left, it's a different bag of nuts.
on the right, it's money, although I can almost guarantee you that they will find a way to give it all up to the bankers. as many have said, it's patently false that reducing the deficit will change much in the way of the bankers' habits. in fact, it'll probably be a scenario where they pull one string in some sector and now one industry is price gouging on a service or commodity that everybody needs. insurance, perhaps? that's always a good one when the banker mafia doesn't want to be accused of damaging the US Dollar.
anyways, I can guarantee you that Elon and Co are hoping to GOD that I die soon, cause the narrative they've cooked up is already under attack, but it's not just from Democrats, it is from the far-right that's like, um, nope. cut that Israel bullshit out and put your money where your fuckin' mouth is if you're gonna bitch about South Africa.
tbh, I think he's just trying to prove that tweets can change the world, but like, yeah...mine can. yours tho? idk, bud. I think the repetitiveness is getting boring and there's something oddly inauthentic and disingenuous about it. and lest we think this is a woke minority thing, it's not. lots of Very White Americans are like...what the fuck is up with this South African dude and his gaggle of South African friends occupying the White House now?
I mean, I heard today that his parents were a part of the Canadian Nazi party or something and that they helped push for apartheid in South Africa. idk if that means they were political activists but ok. my only question is how apartheid is supposed to work if you're the settlers...kinda like Israel. it's a bit like a hostile takeover at that point I think?
idk how the white supremacists square all that but I think we'd all just be happier if we could get the Jews off our backs for once. they're far worse in the sense that they control the banks then lie about it. same with the media and same with Hollywood. I think most of them actually look at a person like Elon as a traitor to the white race, which is why he's pushing the Jews are White thing now. um, bud, they don't WANT to be white because then they can't claim Palestine 😂