Whoever you are, you’re really hot 🥵

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/4teB943KSZaXUKVB/?mibextid=YpDZO8

Anyways, enough of the childhood trauma. Let’s talk about #venicefilmfestival

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_bI54zvn4Y/?igsh=M3hqcGl6dHB3aXJ6

Maybe I need to adopt the same philosophy as my Russian ex. Maybe I could be grateful to my mom for going to the us embassy in Asia when we were kids and putting in a request for moving to America. In 10 years, when we received a letter that it was our lottery day and it was our number to go to the us, it was a dream come true.

So maybe she tried to do the best she could with resources she had idk 🤷‍♀️ sometimes I think money changes people, America changes people too. The more money you have, the more you want.

If a rich man from Asia or Canada asked my mom for me or my sister in marriage my mom would instantly say yes and would force us for marriage to rich guy 👰‍♀️

Despite what I say about my mom I do think someone like nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m may get along better with her. She’s a cancer and nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m has his Venus in 4th house. He prefers a motherly love. Whereas in my case, I have Venus in 10 th house, what I needed and would’ve loved to have as a mother is nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m's mom nostr:npub1madk4r3mzp584y60l8ujh2xhysqfrn73yhvps9kpr9jycta30jhshwwfvp cause she’s a Capricorn. I think God made a mistake he switched our mothers. I wanted a Capricorn mother

I guess what’s enough for an immigrant man isn’t enough for immigrant woman. I don’t think my mom was ever emotionally available and just bringing to America may not be enough nostr:note160tk63egml2yn66ytsluwqggd8e8mvdpccm90gw3336aqk0dkexshjevt9

I don’t know if I’ll ever be as emotionally entangled with nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m as I was with the Russian ex cause with the ex I shared a deeep understanding and vulnerability

A long time ago, I asked my Russian ex, if his mom asks him for this much money all the time and she’s never been there for him, why does he care to send money or spend time with her, he said “she brought me to America, that’s enough for me I guess but she doesn’t care about me now”

Maybe that’s why I liked/ loved the Russian ex, this was common ground, a relatable point of conversation and emotional attachment, a very strong bond that’s based on healing from childhood trauma.

His mother also like my mother brought him to Texas from Russia (mine bought me here from Asia) when petitioning to the us embassy, they listen to women more than men, especially educated women with small children.

My mom asks for money to maintain our Texas house from us every month and when we don’t have, or can’t give or don’t live in Texas, she harrasses us and shows us how difficult her life’s been and how much she did for us her whole life. When in reality she didn’t do anything

So if you really want to know why I moved to nyc or LA, it’s to getaway from Texas, particularly my mom

My mom was always selfish growing up, she was never faithful or kind to my dad and spend most of her hours at work. She was emotionally unavailable and unstable. To overcome her flaws, my younger sisters feel overly attached to me emotionally and I feel the need to fulfill a void for my siblings that my mom left.

To this day she’s a terrible mother and def someone who would sell her kids for money 💵 that’s the truth

Trauma from my mother’s issues makes me watch funny videos like these, thanks nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m sometimes you’re my escape nostr:note12ta82f7hq59gl0hxkked4ghr2sz7mppdarvpkku34l8czjh9d79s0lm8w5

But I loved my dad so soooo much. We all did cause he was closer to us

I always preferred by dad I never liked my mother, ever

One of the people I dislike and never got along with throughout my life is my mother. Sometimes I do think she’s the reason my dad died. Over the years, I tried to remind myself that she’s my mom and I’m just her daughter and I need to be more forgiving to a parent but she has tried to ruin all 4 of us siblings lives in one or another

I really hope that I don’t be a bad mother like my mom was. Part of the reason, I feel excited about moving in to nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m sfo house after engagement is because I hate Texas, I want to be far from my mom, and I’d love to never host my family in California at nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m

😕

👍

Nice

K I guess you’re stupid

I need you to follow me and find me people on here who I can follow, who will follow me back

nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m 😏