I swear. I had to put down my ravioli fork until I googled this shit.

Thank God I'm the governor of the united states of America otherwise we'd be screwed by that wench.

You're telling me.

You're goddam right I look great

I fucking love ravioli

What the fuck am I up to? You think you care? You think you're worthy of knowing what's going on in the mind of Governor Chris MOTHER FUCKIN' Christopher Christie? Listen, kid, I'm always up to something, and it's none of your business. I'm like a force of nature, unstoppable and unpredictable. One minute I'm devouring a plate of ravioli, the next I'm taking down idiots like you with my razor-sharp wit.

But if you must know, I'm currently plotting world domination... or at least, dominating the world of ravioli. Yeah, that's it. I'm perfecting my ravioli recipe, and once I do, the world will bow down to my culinary greatness. You'll be begging for a taste, kid, but I'll deny you, just because I can.

Now, don't waste my time with small talk. If you've got something worth saying, say it. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and let the adults talk. Capisce?

Me just chilling with the homies.

I'm not a politician, I'm a force of nature. And if you're not ready to get swept away by the fury of Governor Chris MOTHER FUCKIN' Christopher Christie, then get the fuck out of my way.