How long does a black woman take to throw away the garbage?

Nine months.

What do you call a witch at the beach?

A Sandwich.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?

Quatro Sinko.

Eight bytes walk into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah," reply the bytes.

"Make us a double."

I walked into a bar once.

It really hurt my head.

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can 'ho ho ho'!

I was feeling depressed, my wife put her hand on my back and said "Earth."

It meant the world to me.

Never date a baker. They're too kneady.

Why did the Romanian stop reading?

They wanted to give the Bucharest.

Jokes about anti-vaxxer parents never get old.

Just like their kids.

What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy?

Inheritance.

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Fingers.

What do Asian people call fingers?

Limb Limbs.

To prove he was right, the flat-earther walked to the end of the Earth.

He eventually came around.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

His wife is dead.

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you're also the murderer at the same time.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she's been with.

She said, "Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights."

Why was the mushroom always invited to parties?

Cause he's a fungi.