Feeling especially like an alien today. Can someone take me home? 👽✨

“It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable.” Seneca

But first coffee ☕️☕️

Good morning 🫶🏼🫂🤙🏼

(it’s Friday 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼)

Hey, Nostr…

This is an #introductions post, but it’s not my first npub.

I’ve become quite close with many of you over the course of 2023. I consider a number of you to be real friends.

But I haven’t found the courage to open up some of the personal struggles I’m facing. Partly out of shame, partly out of the fear of validating my failings by putting them in writing.

But what I do know is the love and support and kindness that exists among this crew, and I’m feeling like I could really stand to lean on that energy a bit right now. I’m hopeful that, even through this anon account, there’s room for friendship, freely given.

I’ve struggled with a range of compulsive/risky/addictive behaviors for a long time, but it’s gotten harder lately. It’s the devil I’ve danced with since my teenage years, and it’s been especially difficult lately to align my active behavior with my heart, intuition, and personal goals.

I believe I “trained” my neural pathways to lean on various dopamine/reward pathways in times of stress during my adolescent development - or, to be honest, from a much younger age - and these mental habits have become deeply ingrained.

It’s not one specific “addiction” the way that people often struggle with, but my tendency to fall into patterns of substance abuse and other ego-inflating activities goes through cycles, which I’m just beginning to understand come from very deep, old parts of myself, and it feels like things have been escalating farther outside of a level of baseline acceptability lately.

I can point to various moments of trauma or conditioning that led me to try to self-soothe in these ways, and I’ve developed compassion for the parts of myself that are “trying to help” even in self-destructive ways.

But I’ve had a harder time with everything lately than I have in a long time. I don’t feel able to share this with my partner, but I am recognizing that it may be too much to handle on my own. Because I’ve tried for years. Self-imposed rules aren’t enough, because they don’t heal the broken parts. And I’m afraid that I’m risking the things I hold most dear, including my loved ones and my own self-worth and self-respect, if I don’t find a way through this.

I know some of you have faced things like addiction, trauma, loss, and personal failures. And I’ve seen the beautiful people that you are. I know and recognize that beauty in myself too, but I’m continually undermining my own happiness and fulfillment. I’m learning to pray again, to turn inward and connect with myself. But I’m also deeply stuck enough that I keep ending up in those patterns that hurt my heart and betray my soul.

I don’t even know if anyone will see this. If the default relays on this client have wide reach. If my VPN is effective or if I’ll dox my identity here.

But man… I sure could use a few kind words, advice, or encouragement from others who have been in a similar place before. If you’ve read this far, I already deeply appreciate you. You’re probably one of the friends I’ve made this last year 🫂

I have just discovered that it is indeed a problem with Amethyst, at Yana's I succeeded.

From Amethyst I can't zap here on Nostr to anyone with a lightning address with Walletofsatoshi.

Does this only happen to me?

Full Moon in Leo Tonight 🤍

Talk about a power house of a full moon. We are experiencing the wolf, lion and dragon energies all combining together to make this a time to remember.

The full moon is lighting a fire inside your heart. Even if things feel emotional or a little wobbly at the moment just know any breakdown is activating a breakthrough. We can pull on the lion energy to activate courage within us, the wolf energy to enhance our power and the dragon to reignite our inner mastery. You are being pushed into the unknown and are supported more then ever before in doing things outside of your comfort zone. Over the full moon pause and take some long deep breaths and imagine yourself pulling in the energies of confidence, strength, passion, courage, bravery, and wise.

Wild birds outside in the forest 🐦🐦 not pets

A day outside with the birds

#plebchain

#nostr

#grownostr

#zapathon

#canada

#m=image%2Fjpeg&dim=865x1920&blurhash=%5BGI%3DS%3At6_49F00t7D%24s%3A00IUM_xuxbaytRtR-%3BWBV%40M_-%3Bozflj%5BRPWBxuofM_kCWBofITaeaeay&x=cdd6a2d00316fb20175833eb013cb7fe664e2d58767cc6ce026e3b98bc53c600

#m=image%2Fjpeg&dim=1080x1920&blurhash=%5DQIYLZDi%3FwaeITD%25tSMxRjof00M_V%3FkCtRDiozo%23s%3Bogs%3AxuRjbHRjg3ofRPoLt7ogozofogWXoLofofRjR%25t7WBkCjZo0&x=a96fa2eb84dfc9c1ed9fd0dd9570b12424ad57da1c368cf8b2b36d5b3d6bbe3f

#m=image%2Fjpeg&dim=865x1920&blurhash=%5BLFPQvkCD%25Ri_4ayRiay4mt7%25Mj%5BITxuxuax-%3Bt8WCM_-%3DxuM%7BWBIUayV%40t7ITofofaet7RjfRRj&x=79b7b0bdc23e5be0287fb862165f9f73143b7157efb95cb308e48d5b1b10d504

Greetings!

I rather see the glass half full....lol 🫶

Makes life so much easier and lighter!

🥳🥳🥳

You must be using the latest TestFlight version for the relay to work correctly on Damus. And yes please do, happy to help!

Send flowers.

You do not need to be connected to nostr.wine, only wss://creatr.nostr.wine

What client are you using? The relay requires NIP-42 auth so that must be supported by your client. In addition, if you previously cached “subscribe to unlock” images/videos on your client you may need to clear your cache before loading the post/content again.

Feel free to send me a DM with your client info and we can troubleshoot!

This was too good!

• 1-2 Cellery

• 4 Oranges

• 2 Lemons

• 3 tiny (!) ginger pieces

💚💚💚💚💚💚✅ Enjoy!!

#juice #juicy #juices #breakfast #healthy #cleanse #fasting #juicefasting #juicecleanse #nostr #nostrplebs #greennostr #greenjuice #yummy #plebchain #btc #bitcoin #sats #satoshi #stacksats

We need new web designs for basically all of our nostr.wine products (most notably Creatr, nostr.wine homepage, and now RelayGuardian).

I’ve reached out to a few designers on nostr but haven’t gotten anywhere. Who can we hire?

🫂

Morning ladies, gents, and degens!

One more cos now I’m on a roll 🤭

And apparently some people are trying to resurrect this thing.. I saw some twit with a mask on yesterday, alone in his car for Pete’s sake! 🤣