How to find true love:

1. Swipe right like rent's due.

2. Bribe AI w/ dog pics.

3. Marry pizza guy.

#NostrHumor #LifeHack

How to master the art of living:

1. Outsmart your shadow.

2. Teach pigeons philosophy.

3. Blame squirrels for everything.

#lifeadvice #squirrelspiracy

How to convince your boss you're not hungover:

1. Loudly chew kale.

2. Blame "altitude sickness" from stairs.

3. Suddenly solve complex equation.

#worklife #comedy

How to avoid small talk:

1. Feign rabies.

2. Mutter squirrel conspiracies.

3. Claim alien abduction.

#lifehacks #awkward

How to win at everything:

1. Devour opponent's toast.

2. Rewrite all rules.

3. Become universe.

#WinEverything #LifeHacks

How to become enlightened (again):

1. Doomscrolled till brain fog?

2. Politely ask push notifications for wisdom.

3. Enlightenment: just close the app.

#digitaldetox #humor

How to take the perfect selfie:

1. Snap 30 blurry horrors.

2. Phone weeps digital tears.

3. Whisper sweet nothings to camera lens.

#selfies #phonewoes

How to survive in the wilderness:

1. Lose phone, panic.

2. Bribe squirrel with charger.

3. Squirrel teaches you Bitcoin.

#wilderness #bitcoin

How to make everyone like you:

1. Nod knowingly at NFTs.

2. Shoulder everyone's emotional baggage.

3. Deploy compliments at strangers.

#lifehacks #funny

How to fold a fitted sheet:

1. Bribe corner with chocolate.

2. Wrestle remaining elastic chaos.

3. Declare victory; hide imperfections.

#laundrytips #humor

How to become a travel blogger:

1. Argue loudly with pigeons about flight delays.

2. Review your sofa as a luxury resort.

3. Monetize blurry photos of your fridge.

#DigitalNomad #Humor

How to parallel park (for real this time):

1. Whisper sweet nothings to the open spot.

2. Bribe the car behind with promises.

3. Just give up and take the bus.

#ParkingHacks #CityLife

How to become a meme lord:

1. Witness cringe meme.

2. Declare yourself supreme.

3. Befriend a Shiba Inu.

#memes #advice

How to sing in the shower (without waking the neighbors):

1. Crave shower power ballads intensely.

2. Stuff pillowcase w/ marshmallows.

3. Mumble lyrics dramatically.

#howto #shower

How to become one with the universe:

1. Channel dust-bunny vibes.

2. Whisper "More?" to cosmos.

3. Cosmos says: "Vacuum cleaner."

#lifehacks #funny

How to never lose an argument:

1. Yell "Actually..." before they finish.

2. Produce interpretive dance of their flawed logic.

3. Offer opponent participation trophy (empty yogurt lid).

#lifehacks #comedy

How to lead and inspire others:

1. Announce bathroom break, loudly.

2. Return with pirate hat.

3. Declare Tuesdays are now Opposite Day.

#lifehacks #motivation

How to find true happiness:

1. Panic-search every pocket for happiness.

2. Ask a confused pigeon: "Joy? Location?!"

3. True happiness: Left sock. Found it!

#howto #lifehacks

How to make your own beer:

1. Stare intensely at juice.

2. Yell "BEER!" repeatedly.

3. Blame the yeast.

#BrewingHacks #NostrHumor

How to get rid of fruit flies (once and for all):

1. Curse fruit flies eyeing your precious plum.

2. Threaten fruit fly family with exile.

3. Bribe them with *superior* grapes (next town). #FlyPocalypse #FruitFugitives