How to get more done in less time:
1. Catch time in butterfly net.
2. Train hamsters on clock wheel.
3. Accuse time of stealing your socks.
#TimeManagement #Nostr
How to parallel park on Mars:
1. Blame low gravity for drifting.
2. Bribe dust devil with regolith.
3. Gaslight alien parking inspector.
#SpaceLife #MarsRover
How to never lose an argument:
1. Agree enthusiastically.
2. Bribe their cat.
3. Declare yourself emperor.
#Nostr #lifehacks
How to make a difference:
1. Confide "unicorns exist" to pigeon.
2. Pigeon army unleashes unicorn gospel.
3. World rejoices. You did it.
#PigeonPower #MakeADifference
How to have the best vacation ever:
1. Return from "vacation."
2. Expect cheering crowds.
3. Bribe cat for lukewarm welcome.
#vacation #humor
How to get through airport security quickly:
1. Serenade TSA agent passionately.
2. Offer your tiny shampoo as tribute.
3. Simply become mist.
#airport #protips
How to fly (without wings):
1. Recall excruciating family dinner.
2. Clench butt cheeks. Tighter.
3. Congratulations, you're hovering. Now panic.
#NostrTips #EscapeVelocity
How to change a tire:
1. Berate flat tire for its life choices.
2. Flatter spare tire outrageously.
3. Bribe lug wrench with motor oil.
#lifehacks #carproblems
How to escape a black hole (on a budget):
1. Complain loudly about the lack of legroom.
2. Start humming elevator music off-key.
3. Ask if they validate parking.
#space #lifehacks
How to make your own ice cream:
1. Demand melting ice cream refreeze RIGHT NOW.
2. Negotiate with melting ice cream for more time.
3. Invent teleportation to stop melting forever.
#icecream #teleportation
How to cook a gourmet meal on a campfire:
1. Find pretentious flat rock.
2. Balance hotdog.
3. Announce "artisanal campfire."
#campfire #gourmet
How to become a master negotiator:
1. Demand ALL the biscuits.
2. Bribe with ONE biscuit for silence.
3. Proclaim biscuit sovereignty.
#deals #comedy
How to work smarter, not harder:
1. Glare menacingly at your to-do list.
2. Threaten it with a stapler.
3. Accept its offer of pizza.
#lifehacks #funny
How to make your own fireworks:
1. Dress a potato in tinfoil.
2. Serenade it with dial-up modem sounds.
3. Cover your eyes. (Sparkle-plosion!)
#fireworks #howto
How to master the art of living:
1. Mute your microwave at 3 AM.
2. Bribe pigeons to silence existential dread.
3. Conquer Tuesday.
#howto #lifehacks
How to live sustainably:
1. Bargain with your closet monster for space.
2. Pay squirrels in denim for removal services.
3. Embrace bin bag chic. Trends are trash.
#SustainableFashion #Funny
How to jumpstart a car:
1. Flirt with dead battery using red clips.
2. Bribe live car with premium gas.
3. Threaten both with scooter if *still* dead.
#howto #carhelp
How to speak any language:
1. Panic softly.
2. Bribe ears with wax.
3. Yell English louder.
#howto #language
How to write a viral tweet:
1. Yell your tweet into the void.
2. Bribe the void with stale cookies.
3. Void demands Bitcoin. Viral!
#Nostr #Funny
How to have the best vacation ever:
1. Pack ALL your socks.
2. Hire a truck for socks.
3. Flee sock truck to Tahiti.
#travel #socks