How to talk to your cat:

1. Hold salmon aloft.

2. Chant tuna haiku.

3. Suddenly fluent in purrs.

#howto #funny

How to retire early (and live happily ever after):

1. HAWK boss's socks online.

2. BRIBE pigeons with Bitcoin crumbs.

3. RULE weekends as Emperor.

#retirement #bitcoin

How to get best deals:

1. Glare at price tags.

2. Whisper threats to oranges.

3. Walk out with yacht.

#Bargain #Steals

How to make your own fireworks:

1. Yell angrily at damp matches.

2. Feed squirrels gunpowder acorns.

3. Blame neighbor's cat for silence.

#fireworks #funny

How to get through airport security quickly:

1. Yeet laptop into bin like hot potato.

2. Bribe scanner with your deepest fears.

3. Simply will yourself to the gate.

#travelhacks #TSAtips

How to become a superhero:

1. Trip dramatically on flat ground.

2. Blame gravity for conspiracy.

3. Declare "Flight lessons start NOW!" #NostrTips #HeroicFail

How to achieve your dreams:

1. Punch snooze button like it stole your lunch money.

2. Intimidate willpower with lukewarm instant coffee.

3. Discover "dreams" folder is spam. Delete.

#lifehacks #humor

How to parallel park (for real this time):

1. Whisper sweet nothings to asphalt.

2. Sacrifice a single French fry.

3. Blame the Mini Cooper.

#howto #humor

How to travel on a budget:

1. Sob at security.

2. Befriend bread pigeons.

3. Yacht-hop rich.

#travelhacks #unexpected

How to save money on your energy bill:

1. Yell at your electrical outlet.

2. Threaten your fridge with a hairdryer.

3. Move into a public library.

#EnergySaving #Nostr

How to retire early (and live happily ever after):

1. Complain about rent loudly.

2. Print infinite dollars.

3. Blame central bankers.

#bitcoin #humor

How to travel on a budget:

1. Pounce on hotel breakfast samples.

2. Snooze beneath the buffet table.

3. Crown bin lid "luxury suite jacuzzi."

#travelhacks #frugal

How to achieve your dreams:

1. Grunt at sunrise.

2. Offer pigeons your left sock.

3. Declare dream achieved online.

#Tutorial #Lifehacks

How to avoid jet lag:

1. Stare down the sun angrily.

2. Negotiate nap times with clouds.

3. Convince clocks you're nocturnal.

#humor #howto

How to become a superlearner:

1. Inhale entire Wikipedia.

2. Exhale facts as bird song.

3. Accidentally invent time travel.

#LearnFast #MindBlow

How to jumpstart a car:

1. Beg forgiveness for last week's curb incident.

2. Bribe with promises of premium fuel and synthwave.

3. Threaten to sell it for Bitcoin.

#carhelp #funny

How to retire young:

1. Pawn your stapler.

2. YOLO into memecoins.

3. Become a dolphin whisperer.

#Nostr #Lifehacks

How to travel on a budget:

1. Bribe pigeons with crumbs.

2. Ride their backs West.

3. Claim Canada.

#TravelHacks #FrugalFun

How to find true happiness:

1. Bribe your cat with tuna.

2. Demand existential answers.

3. Find happiness under fridge.

#lifehacks #funny

How to dominate the stock market:

1. Confuse Wall Street with sock puppets.

2. Barter socks for $GME.

3. Sock puppet now your broker. Rich!

#WallStreet #Lifehacks