what's making me smile at the moment?
thinking
i have no idea whats happening
& im pretty sure im not supposed to be here very at all & instead im just munching on some pecans
i will say this. this cannot be this logically. if it's a nightmare box, fine.
but by logic, is this not accurate
because the human species would not have survived this long if it were
so, something is going on.
down to listen to stuff in full not so down to read
pretty firmly committed to not reading the literature actually
able to.
a necessary extenuating circumstance scenario, sure. would.
elective? as an elective?
no, i dont think i will.
still dont know what stacking sats means
on a fundamental level for all i know its an injoke i just dont have context for
killin time waiting for the water to boil for tea
spearmint & raspberry leaf
& hyssop
peatie & paulie & michael
there are more on the counter but then i kinda switched over my attention to getting them all more crumbs by wedging a butterknife between the counter & the stove & wiggling it around cos crumbs get stuck in there
real late night doc hours for night owls
"If one really looks, one can see beauty in everything. "
“There is a beauty in its shattered state…” Anthony Eyton 2025
https://blossom.primal.net/54e862b5ccf66699df9c6f41ea0f9cdd49f99331e282ec291c02fab59ce7ed99.mp4
#ThingsIFindAndHaveToShare
thank you for sharing
couldnt be me.
neverwas me.
im not in the business of hunting
im not in the business of capture
im not in the business of hostile takeover
imagine seducing someone into getting them to forget they have legs & calling that love
to be captured is to have forgotten what the desire to bounce out even is
forget you have legs
forget 🖕
forget: no
no i dont think so
no i prefer not to
no
these trees have watched me my whole life
these trees saw me stomping naked as a toddler in the rain with my mom in the kitchen thru the window like .. letting because i insisted but watching incase i suddenly changed my mind
same wood this deck
all the rainfalls since
no mom thru the window now
taller now
same trees
when the trees become dark silhouettes
to move beneath them for them
their eyes alone?
if i did,
would i not have at least a book?
even a tiny one? even self published?
that i dont
says it is not my aim
ok thank you gonna enjoy my walk now
catcha later nostr ✌️
cortisol numbers not worth it
gas spent for these woods this walk a wash not worth it
imma do me
what a lesson for especially eldest children
too much good behavior is a bad thing
is unwise
like what was i gonna do? race there & stress minutes the whole way? for what
i am so diligent first time ever 🥹
i already have a rescheduled one 💅
nostr:note1z9zwz722z9z0ppgydm8jrfqhmpm5rj04xmchdmwfpc895ktvt3gsh0vzpd
im too far away
not in the vicinity to be on time
also, due to a sore throat
which sure,
could be singing
but could be symptoms im coming down with a fever
cos who knows?
too early to tell
it is irresponsible
of me to go anyway
it is uncharitable
& divinity is not
can i write this way?
do i just do it &
trust?
like is that shit or able to get shit from it? even idk but il take a skatepunk song easy do whatever dont need to check in nearly as much as you do
i will not parse what i do not understand to make sense of it relative to my sense making
😌
causes concern where it shouldnt
bad habit from photo jargon days
when if bothered i would talk technical
until they were buried in it
insert that aslan meme
like oh cos im a girl i obviously dont have appreciation for the technical side of cameras & glass & light temperatures
goodbye bro down
bro lost that round
long story short
whether molehills are mountains
or mountains are molehills
i did everything i could safely within my limits & got out of there as soon as i was thru w/o pushing it which was exactly what i had aimed for
see how far you can get if its only to the bridge so be it
only to the intrepid so be it
park safely & hangout & leave? like dont even get out of your car just chill there? so be it
so many outs
had the reach but wasnt stressin it
did it
cool
glad
like major violative of sacred sovereignty very personal it isnt an academic thing
it isnt: oh i read in a textbook some ndns from the plains refused photos let me adopt that posture
dude it just murdered me. & its been a really long time. its in my heart. the pain.
do people know how inconvenient it is to live right by a huge city & not be able to work gigs there without insane levels of stress cos of state violence just one time
no one chooses this
it is really pussy shit
no one chooses this
there is an indigenous gap there to even approach getting close
i would ~love~ to be some punk chick like dude? arrested once? ive been arrested 45 times who gives a shit fuckem
but they took my eyes to me
when they scanned my eyes to me