What do you call a monkey that loves potato chips?
...
A chipmunk.
What did the accountant say while auditing a document?
...
This is taxing.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
...
Because the pee is silent.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
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I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
...
I don't know and I don't care.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
...
Frostbite.
What do you call a dog magician?
...
A labracadabrador.
Why did the computer have no money left?
...
Someone cleaned out its cache!
Why did the computer get cold?
...
Because it forgot to close windows.
How do trees get on the internet?
...
They log in.
What happens when a frogs car dies?
...
He needs a jump. If that doesn't work he has to get it toad.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
...
A pork chop.
What do you call a dog magician?
...
A labracadabrador.
To be Frank...
...
I'd have to change my name.
What did the beaver say to the tree?
...
It's been nice gnawing you.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
...
A thesaurus.
Why did the broom get promoted?
...
Because it swept the competition.
Why did the grape stop rolling?
...
Because it ran out of juice.
Why did the coach go to the bank?
...
To get his quarterback.
How do celebrities stay cool?
...
They have many fans.