I need the kind of sleep that skirts the margins of invoking a living will

The alarm didn't go off!

Alarms very clearly go ON...

Perhaps I have psychic powers, or perhaps I just know how TV execs work, but I appear to be in the minority of people who knew that Rev Richard Coles and Chris McCausland (both great guys) would win the reality crap as soon as they were announced. It was so bloody obvious, and so obviously staged.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas" is condescending AF...

Accordion to scientific studies, 90% of people do not notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Someone said ‘echo chamber’ on here three weeks ago and I can still hear them.

My girlfriend said she doesn’t like the tea in Starbucks

So now, to make her happy, I call it Sarbucks

I was sitting next to Angela Rippon on my train home from London today, so that was nice...

When the British Political "news" is whether the PM or leader of the opposition like sandwiches for lunch, it's a good sign that we've returned to normality.

As nostr:npub1pqwq5l96aa86fmzhzkml8z3cqfwlk78gpq60yk0xq6phyxw77p4qw9ygpj says, politics is MEANT to be boring....

This is a test

I don't know if it's a phase or just me getting older, but I am waking up ridiculously early. It's been like it for a few months.

My smart watch (only for indicative purposes, obviously) says I'm getting enough sleep and good sleep, and I feel OK.

But why?

I remember, when I was a small boy in the 1970s, saying "Dad, what's an anachronism?", and he simply replied "Google it".

Surely, if you want to smell like #trump , you can just piss yourself?

A teen insulted me on my way into the shop. That's not OK, kid. This was supposed to be my safe place. This is where I come to buy my antacids.

We are due a city-destroying meteor impact any day now...

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn't say which one.

Now I'm at home

"Stupid Idiots"??

Get him out of here. Petulant child. Doesn't deserve to be racing against this field.

#F1 #Verstappen #F1 threads #AbuDhabiGP

Just ban #Verstappen for a long time in 2025.

He's out of control. He'll never be one of the greats.

#F1 #F1threads #SkyF1

I've decided I'll never get down to my original weight and I'm okay with that.

7 Lbs 6 oz is just unrealistic.

Arguing with my wife is like reading a Software License agreement.

In the end you have to ignore everything and click "I agree".