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jean the machine
7dd022d6f2cff4166eb276b6b2d75688da15871dbb56a82c68546525465de5fa
Human car crash. Dancer. Artist. Homesteader. Nerd.
Replying to Avatar JoySun

I don't know how to put what happened last night into words yet.

The triggering is happening but the healing has not yet.

Let's try this:

It's basically a guy at dances who I became friendly with but kept distance from since he's odd. But he hogs my time at dances to the point that no one else could get near me. So I had to have a conversation with him and put a stop to it.

But he did not care to acknowledge any of my concerns and only wanted to explain away that it's because of his Canadian culture (which I think all my Canadian friends here can confirm that it's bullshit) and because he has an interest in me.

Having an interest in somebody never grants you the right to now take over her whole time, make sure no one else can get near her, question her closeness with other guys, get jealous of them and make up crazy stories in your heads, more importantly, get upset at her for not having told you much about herself.

In the end, he got mad and yelled at me when I told him I hope he can keep this convo to himself (okay, for y'all who want to say now I'm not even doing that, it's not the same thing. I'm not telling people we mutually know nor am I using a real name.). How he outbursted at that suggestion (which is more mild compared to other things we talked about) and how upset and loud he got and then walked off scared me and triggered me into all the sudden outbursts my ex had over very mild things over the 8 years of our relationship.

Being able to write this out helps. It shall pass but it's a process. This is where I'm at at this very moment. Thanks for "listening". πŸ’–πŸ’–

#PTSD

The first time I attempted blues dancing, the guy I was dancing with BIT MY EAR.

I hated blues for so long after that. Took a couple of years, but it turns out I like leading blues so much more than following. I make a point when I teach that you can always say no and you can always walk off the floor if your partner hurts you or makes you feel uncomfortable.

I’m super touch-averse after some bad relationships, and social dancing has really helped deal with that. Good luck, friend. Do no harm, but take no shit. πŸ’œ

Good morning, y’all. It’s been a busy week, but back to the coffee shop today and all the coffee I can drink.

Though, that may not be the best idea.

#coffeechain #plebchain

Good afternoon, y’all. #plebchain

This is Tyche when you can see her face. So weird, beautiful, and lucky.

#catstr #plebchain

My sweetest little unintentional addition to the family. This is Tyche and the name fits.

#catstr #plebchain

Fresh bedding has everyone in a good mood. Harold’s been a little rough with Borto, trying to mate. But aside from the wild feathers, she’s still doing great. https://nostr.build/av/991801fb4fac074887ba13a0089f4bf8b5d8e8032303aef032f166fb9b1dce08.mov

πŸ’œ #plebchain

Barbie was a great, funny, tongue-in-cheek, reference-filled, satirical movie. A+ from me. Costume design was spot-on and visually perfect for the tone. Got a ton of nostalgia points, too.